High Voltage
by PhantomPhan
Summary: When Darkwing and Megavolt find their lives literally hanging in the balance, they decide to take a trip down memory lane...
1. High Times in St Canard

Disclaimer: Sadly, only a significant amount of money would make these characters mine.

No, this isn't the sequel to my other fic, just a fluffier, SHORTER fic about Darkwing and Megavolt. Hope you enjoy.

--

Gosalyn leaned against the doorframe, watching with fleeting interest as her father toiled over their television set. He omitted the occasional grunt and "stupid thing."

At long last, the duckling asked jadedly, "Dad, what are you doing?"

"Get Launchpad in here," Drake mumbled.

"LAUNCHPAD!" Gosalyn screamed without moving from the doorway.

Drake glowered at her.

"Thanks sweetie."

Launchpad McQuack lumbered down the stairs, asking Gosalyn curiously, "Is dinner ready?"

Before she could answer, Drake came over to them, practically skipping.

"Jeez Dad, win the lottery?"

"No, even better! Although it took weeks of preparation and three hours of intense labor, _I managed to program the VCR!_ It's set to start at three o'clock am on the dot, in order to record the exclusive interview with the dashing Darkwing Duck on national television!" Drake cried elatedly, raising his hands for effect.

"Actually Dad, it's local TV, and they only interviewed you because they thought you were Gizmoduck – "

"YES, NATIONAL TELEVISION," Drake reiterated loudly, "Now as for you two, the VCR is in a very delicate stage. Any breach in its tranquility could result in devastating consequences. I don't want either of you to go near it. Don't breathe on it. In fact, don't even look at it – did you get that Gos? I said don't even – "

"I get it! I won't even look at the stupid hunk of plastic!" Gosalyn snapped.

"Shh!" Drake chided, glancing at the VCR nervously, "Don't talk about it like that, you might upset it…"

His daughter growled in exasperation and marched into the kitchen. Drake eyed the VCR, admiring his handiwork, before finally dragging himself away.

"Okay LP, I'm going upstairs to get my spare costume. Make sure nothing happens to the VCR, but don't look at it either."

"Um…okay," Launchpad said, scratching his head.

Drake disappeared up the stairwell, while the pilot made his way into the kitchen.

"Hey, smells good, what's cooking in here?"

"Dad made spaghetti."

"Mmm…yum!" Launchpad commented while rubbing his hands together with anticipation.

Gosalyn was in the midst of doling out a heaping spoonful of noodles when every light in the house suddenly flickered and went out. The house was black except for the beams of moonlight flooding through the kitchen window.

Launchpad glanced about and questioned innocently, "Hey, who killed the juice?"

As if answering his question, the soft sound of electricity surging buzzed throughout the house and the lights glowed once more.

"Problem solved," Gosalyn and Launchpad stated in unison, then concentrated on the meatballs.

The two suddenly heard Drake's footsteps as he thundered down the stairs two at a time.

"Uh oh, Dad's moving at warp speed. Looks like he ate chili cheese fries again," Gosalyn observed astutely.

Drake sprinted into the living room. He grasped the VCR and brought it up to his face. Where it should have read 9:30 pm, 12:00 now blinked in its place, reflecting in the mallard's horrified eyes. Drake sank to his knees.

"NOOOOO!" he wailed in a grief-stricken voice.

As Drake proceeded to thump his head miserably against the glass of the television screen, Gosalyn and Launchpad entered the room.

"Oh, don't worry Drake, you've had bigger disappointments than this," Launchpad tried.

The mallard glared at his sidekick.

"Gee, I wonder what made the power go out like that? Maybe Mr. Muddlefoot tried to turn his phone into a wireless one again," Gosalyn pondered.

"_No_," Drake hissed, "I know who it was…that maniacal Mephistopheles… Megavolt!"

"Gasp. Megavolt knocked out the power. Didn't see that one coming," Gosalyn mumbled sarcastically.

"What's a Mephistopheles?" Launchpad asked.

Drake's head shot up, a look of hatred burning its way onto his face.

"I'm going to SCREWIT!" Drake announced suddenly.

"What?" Gosalyn asked.

"St. Canard Region Electricity, Water, Industry, and Technology! S-C-R-E-W-I-T! SCREWIT!" her father snapped.

"Oh, right," Gosalyn said with a grin.

"I've had enough of that shifty shirt's shenanigans! I swear he will pay…I swear on my own grave, MEGAVOLT _WILL _PAY!" Drake cried defiantly, then darted to his blue chair.

Drake punched the statue so hard its head stayed jammed between its shoulders. Launchpad watched his friend disappear with a quick spin and said sadly, "There goes a broken man…"

--

"Listen Mr. Volt, please, tampering with the city's power isn't safe! Or legal, for that matter!"

"Can it bud or you're gonna be out like a light!"

The squat vice president of S.C.R.E.W.I.T. shrunk under Megavolt's harsh glare. The rat turned back to the large generator.

"Now," Megavolt thought aloud, "how am I going to get this thing back to the Lighthouse? Maybe I could rent a moving van…no, too expensive…maybe I could _steal_ a moving van…no, too time-consuming…a giant gravity-negating ray? No, too clich"

"Mr. Volt, I'm sure you already have electricity running in your house, what could you possibly need that generator for?" the vice president sqeaked.

"How else am I going to feed 500 guests?" Megavolt asked as if it was obvious.

"F-feed?"

"Lightbulbs don't run on chocolate bars pal, duh!"

"Sir, please! Desist your actions or I will call the police!" the vice president urged.

Megavolt scoffed loudly, "Ha! Go ahead, send the cops! No one can stop me, not even that dumpy do-gooder – "

The rat was cut off by a familiar puff of blue smoke.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the enraged crime fighter who is too angry to think of a witty metaphor! I AM DARKWING DUCK!"

"Darkwing who?" Megavolt asked sarcastically.

"DUCK! Darkwing DUCK!" the crime fighter snapped.

"Just checking," Megavolt replied.

Darkwing glowered and declared, "All right you evil Edison, you've gone _too _far tonight! Prepare yourself for battle, because this is war!"

"Sheesh, what side of the bed did you get up on this morning?" Megavolt asked, his eyebrows raised.

Darkwing Duck turned to the quaking vice president.

"I'm going to have to ask you to evacuate this building sir," Darkwing said, then glanced at Megavolt, "this could get a little messy."

The vice president sighed and left the room, trying to forget the fact that he was taking orders from a duck in a cape who was mad at a rat with a battery strapped to his back.

Darkwing nodded with approval, watching the vice president leave. He rolled up his sleeves and turned to address his adversary.

"Ooookay Megavolt – Megavolt? Where'd he go?"

Darkwing looked around wildly, until he heard a nasal voice across the hall. Megavolt had stepped into an elevator, and was punching in buttons.

"TTFN, Dorkwing!" Megavolt shouted, waving to the crime fighter as the elevator doors closed.

Darkwing smacked his forehead and growled in frustration. He flung himself into the adjacent elevator and began pounding the keypad.

"Stupid Sparky and his stupid electricity, probably went to the stupid top floor because he's so stupid," the mallard grumbled irritably, tapping his foot as the elevator slowly escalated.

The elevator came to a halt and chimed softly. The doors opened, and Darkwing stormed out into the hallway. Sure enough, Megavolt was there, yanking on a doorknob with all his might.

"Darned…no good…door! How am I…supposed to…run away…when it's…locked!" Megavolt grunted as he struggled.

"What you should be wondering Megs is how you're going to distinguish your face from the floor after I'm through with you!" Darkwing roared.

"Jeez duck, what's your problem tonight?" Megavolt asked innocently.

"_My_ problem?! Don't you mean _your _problem?! Tell me this Megavolt, why must you always knock out the power? Why? Tell me. Why. And tonight, of all nights," Darkwing screeched.

"Because! I agreed to have the party at my place, and you can't have a party without refreshments! Ask the 160 watts, they'll tell you…hey, what am I talking to you for? Hold still so I can fry ya," Megavolt growled offhandedly.

"Not before you suck gas!"

Darkwing whipped out his gas gun and fired. At the same time, Megavolt whipped out his own electrogun and fired. The capsule and the bolt of electricity collided in midair, and dark blue smoke expanded into every corner of the small hallway.

The crime fighter waved his arms wildly, trying to disperse of the smoke. Instantly his eyes began to water.

"Oh no…why'd I have to use stink gas…" Darkwing wheezed.

"Ugh, this stuff smells worse than your reputation Dipwing," Megavolt quipped his voice more nasal than usual as he pinched his nose shut.

Megavolt felt around blindly until he encountered a windowsill. He flung open the glass, releasing plumes of smoke into the night. Megavolt leaned out of the open window and breathed in deeply.

"Ah, thank Edison for nice, fresh, clean – "

The rat broke out into a vicious coughing fit.

" – smog contaminated city air," he finished in a tight voice, pounding on his chest.

Darkwing stumbled through the smoke, his nostrils burning. Man, Murphy's Law was just loving him tonight. To make things better, Darkwing tread on the edge of his cape. His shoulder jerked around and he tripped, staggering to regain his balance.

The mallard only made it a few reeling steps before crashing head on into Megavolt with a loud "_oomph_!"

The force of Darkwing's momentum caused Megavolt to lurch forward. Before either of them knew what was happening, Darkwing and Megavolt flipped over the windowsill and into the open air.

At first, Darkwing Duck did not even comprehend that he was in the midst of a freefall. It wasn't until he noticed the whistling in his ears, the cold air rushing past him, and the streetcars below getting larger before he realized he was no longer safely inside the building. He opened his beak to scream when –

_SLAM!_

Darkwing and Megavolt landed face first on something that, Darkwing noted, was very hard. The crime fighter lay motionless for a few moments before he heard a scratchy voice beside him ask, "Are we dead?"

"No," Darkwing hissed curtly.

"Crap, because I think my kidneys just exploded," Megavolt moaned, clutching his sides.

Darkwing pushed himself up and glanced around. Windex, towels, wipers…they had been saved by none other than the scaffolding of a window washer.

"Well whaddaya know," Megavolt mused, "despite the fact that the cables supporting this thing were not designed for this kind of sudden stress, this scaffolding thing held up!"

With that, the two heard several loud snaps. Several cables on each side broke free. Darkwing and Megavolt looked at each other.

"Uh oh," they said simultaneously, and the scaffolding plummeted.


	2. The Ancient Art of Storytelling

Disclaimer: Math lesson: Darkwing plus Megavolt plus every other character mentioned = not mine

HUGE thanks to the reviewers, you rock!

--

"AAARRRGGGHHH!"

Darkwing Duck and Megavolt held onto the railings of the scaffolding in a white-knuckle grip as it fell. Cables snapped, buckets and cleaning supplies scattered into the air. Darkwing looked at his blurred image in the passing windows of the building, trying to catch one last glimpse of himself before he turned into purple street pizza.

Suddenly the scaffolding jerked to an abrupt halt, flattening Darkwing and Megavolt to the floor.

Darkwing held very still, his breath coming in quick gasps. He started to feel a strange sensation…he was sliding…

The mallard stuck out his hand like a snake and grabbed onto the railing. He heard a strangled yelp behind him. He twisted his head around to see Megavolt holding onto either side of the scaffolding and shaking like a leaf, about an inch from the end of the platform.

Darkwing blinked.

"Hey, we're not dead," he said in a surprised but happy tone.

"Nothing gets by you," Megavolt retorted.

Darkwing shot him a nasty look, then surveyed his surroundings, realizing why they had almost slid off the platform.

The scaffolding was hanging on an angle, dangling precariously by a precious few cables. It swayed ominously in the soft breeze; a strong wind would give them a one-way ticket to the ground in a heartbeat.

"Oh great…this thing's about as stable as you are Megs," Darkwing commented bitterly.

"So?" Megavolt said, "this is a window washing thing. All we've gotta do is crawl into a window and we're saved. We've got about a hundred windows to choose from, so…"

The rat leaned forward and reached for a window. The scaffolding tilted dangerously.

"MEGAVOLT! HEEL!" Darkwing commanded.

Megavolt instantly shrunk back and said sheepishly, "Heh heh…whoops…"

Darkwing rolled his eyes.

"You're doing it all wrong. An escape with this kind of convolution requires poise, cunning, and dexterity! Watch and learn."

Darkwing chose his footing carefully and stretched towards the window. He fingered the outer rim, and a smug smile formed on his beak. However, the smile quickly disappeared when the scaffolding lurched violently.

"Yipes!" Darkwing cried out, and latched himself onto the railing.

"Congratulations," Megavolt muttered.

The scaffolding continued to rock perilously. The masked mallard chanced a glance over the edge and down to the streets below. The mere sight of the drop made his insides writhe.

"Lucky for us, SCREWIT happens to be the second tallest building in St. Canard," he grumbled sarcastically, "Perfect. Juuust perfect. We're too high to be reached by a crane, too close to the building to be rescued by helicopter – "

"And because SOMEONE decided to have the building evacuated, there's no one inside to save us!" Megavolt barked accusingly.

"Wait…my gas gun! I can use my grappling hook and we're home free!"

"Boo ya!" Megavolt cheered.

Darkwing pulled out his gas gun, and began padding his jacket for the hook. He frowned and padded faster.

Megavolt raised an eyebrow and asked, "Well?"

"Wouldn't ya know it, I uh…appear to have left it in my other costume," Darkwing informed, grinning nervously.

"Oh that's just splendid, now we can just sit here and wait 'til we fall to our DOOM!" Megavolt growled.

The rat tightened his grip on the floorboards and glimpsed over the edge cautiously. His brow furrowed.

"I can't remember if I'm afraid of heights or not."

"You're not," Darkwing assured. The last thing he needed was for the villain to freak out while immobility determined their life or death.

"Oh, okay, that's good. Hey, how do _you_ know?" Megavolt asked skeptically.

"I know a lot more about you than you would think."

"Oh yeah? Like what?!"

Darkwing glanced upward in thought and began to list, "Oh, nothing much, just your 'secret' identity, what you were like in high school, how you became a villain…"

He would have ticked them off on his fingers had he possessed the courage to let go of the railing.

"What are you, my stalker or something? How do you know all that?!" Megavolt shrieked.

Darkwing sighed and looked down at the streets once more. He could barely make out what looked to be a homeless man staring up at them in interest. Well, it wasn't like they didn't have time on their hands…

"Megavolt, do you want to hear a story?"

"Does it have a self-stabilizing fusion generator in it?"

"Um…no…"

"Then no, no I don't want to hear a story."

Darkwing scowled.

"Well then shut up, because yer gonna hear one anyway!"

"Fine. You can talk your beak off and I won't listen…not like that's anything new…"

"Okay then…I'll just leave out the part about the science lab…"

Megavolt raised an eyebrow.

"Did you say 'science lab'?"

"No I said Winnebago. Yes, science lab!" Darkwing snapped, then took a deep, calming breath before continuing, "Now that I have your attention…our story begins not so long ago, on a muggy, late summer's day in St. Canard High School…"

Drake Mallard fidgeted in his seat, tugging at his collar in an attempt to cool down. It was already stifling in the small chemistry lab, and the Bunsen burners did not help. Class better start soon, or else Mr. Beakerford was going to be teaching a puddle of sweat.

"Curse these stylish bellbottoms," Drake mumbled.

Hamm String waltzed into the lab like he owned the place, Preena Lott practically glued to his side. Drake's eyes shot up the clock instinctively. It was 11:33. Class started at 11:30.

"Hold it right there Hamm!" Drake shouted in an authoritative voice, "Three minutes late just won't do! As honorary hall monitor I demand that you – ACK!"

Hamm wrapped a beefy hand around the mallard's neck.

"Ah Drake, you never cease to amaze," he said with a chuckle, before tossing Drake roughly aside.

Hamm plopped into the seat previously occupied by Drake, with Preena squealing beside him, "Oooh Hamilton! That was _hil_arious_!_"

Drake landed unceremoniously in another chair, banging his forehead on the lab table in the process. His subconscious now reduced to a merry-go-round, Drake turned to the person next to him and said stupidly, "Hey Elmo, how's it hangin'?"

The rat, who had his nose buried in a book, turned to Drake.

"Nothing is hanging, but if you mean my health, then I am fine, thank you," Elmo Sputterspark said quietly, then returned to his book.

"Whatcha readin'?" Drake asked, his voice slurred.

"Chemistry, High School Edition, Grade 12."

"Why's that?"

"I am just brushing up on today's lesson."

"Why's that?" Drake asked.

"So I am better prepared for the forthcoming lab."

"Why's that?"

"To maintain my GPA."

"Why's that?"

Elmo blinked. Knowing that staring was rude, he quickly averted his gaze. Suddenly Mr. Beakerford swept into the room.

"Sorry all, I – "

"HA! This Drake kid sounds like a real loser!"

Darkwing Duck snapped out of storytelling trance.

"What?"

"This Drake kid," Megavolt said, snickering, "he's a wimp! But, I _am_ intrigued by that Elmo fella. Tell me more."

Darkwing stuck his tongue out at the villain, then cleared his throat.

"As I was saying…Mr. Beakerford, the renowned St. Canard High chemistry teacher, swept into the room…"

"Sorry all, I had a bit of, er, _trouble_ getting here," Beakerford sputtered.

As the teacher rummaged through his notes, Hamm mimed puffing an invisible cigarette. Or what looked to be a cigarette, at least. Preena and the surrounding students giggled.

"You know the lab – we previewed it yesterday. Get with your partners," Beakerford commanded.

Drake, his head finally clear, looked around. Hamm and Preena were together, no questions asked…Ferdy and Geraldine were already together…Jim and Cummings too…

Before he knew it, everyone was paired up. Drake looked at Elmo and said in the brightest voice he could manage, "Guess it's you and me again."

Elmo nodded and began retrieving safety goggles out of a drawer. Drake sighed. This wasn't the first time he and Elmo had been stuck together. Yeah well, it could be worse, Sputterspark wasn't all that bad. They had known each other since grade school, and since then their so-called "friendship" had improved more than their position on the social ladder, if only by a slight margin.

"Just a quick reminder," Beakerford interrupted, "before you move onto the chemicals, you will be dealing briefly with weak electrical charges – when you have a weak positive and a weak negative charge between two objects, like the balloons we'll have today, what neutralizes it?"

Elmo's hand shot up.

"Yes Mr. Sputterspark?"

"Spraying the balloons with water is the easiest and most efficient way to neutralize their charges."

"Excellent. Did everyone get that? Right? Okay…begin!"

--

The end of class bell rang, and the students bustled out of the room faster than you could say "inertia." Drake and Elmo walked out, Elmo still trying to rub off the scorch marks from his chemistry book.

"Sorry about that," Drake said guiltily.

"Not a problem," Elmo answered quietly.

Silence came between them, and in an effort to break it, Drake asked, "Sooooo…are you going to the Prom tonight?"

"No, I am not," Elmo answered simply.

Though he wasn't surprised, the mallard prodded further.

"Why not? It's the Prom, it's an extra special night to remember…at least that's what they say."

"No thank you…I can't dance that well…I don't have anyone to go with."

"Well neither do I, but that's no reason to – "

"Mr. Sputterspark, may I have a word?" came Mr. Beakerford's voice from the emptying classroom.

Elmo glanced at Drake awkwardly before scurrying back into class. Drake pulled himself away reluctantly.

"It's wrong to eavesdrop, it's wrong to eavesdrop, it's wrong to eavesdrop," he drilled himself, and marched diligently to his locker.

He was replacing his chemistry book for his history when Elmo stormed out of the classroom, looking pink in the face and somewhat flustered. Curiosity getting the better of him, Drake abandoned his open locker and caught up with Elmo.

"Elmo! Hey, wait up! Whatsa matter?"

The rat whirled to face him. Drake was taken aback – he looked mildly peeved. And mildly peeved for Elmo was like infuriated beyond reason for just about anyone else in the entire school.

"Mr. Beakerford…the Science Club…the school…they won't donate money towards my project!"

"What project?"

"The one on static electricity! I can harness it, I know I can, I just have yet to test it, but those fools in the Science Club say it isn't possible! It could revolutionize science, but the school refuses to support my studies, and do you know what they donated their money to instead?!"

"Uh, no, I don't…"

"They have purchased an outdoor sprinkler system!" Elmo shrieked in a high-pitched voice.

Suddenly Elmo was knocked to the floor. Hamm String was standing behind him, both he and his girlfriend laughing hysterically.

"Hey, gotta keep the football fields green somehow," Hamm chuckled.

Drake snarled and leapt forward, striking a dramatic pose.

"Back off Hamm, or prepare to get stuffed!" he shouted.

With that, the mallard leapt forward with a loud, "HIYA!" only to be snatched by the collar by Hamm.

"Sorry Drake the Dweeb," Hamm said, holding Drake so his feet didn't touch the floor, "but I think you'll be the one getting stuffed…into a locker, that is!"

Hamm shoved Drake effortlessly into the mallard's own locker. A large crowd of students had gathered around now, watching eagerly.

"Comfy?" Hamm asked sweetly.

"Um, if you could just move my arm, I tend to cramp easily, heh heh," Drake tried weakly.

Hamm slammed the locker shut with a loud _clang!_


	3. Shocked and Dismayed

Disclaimer: I can see it now, a big song and dance number to the tune of "These Characters Are Not Mine, They're Disney's"…

MAJOR thanks to the reviewers, you're awesome!

"So, what happens next?"

"Huh?"

"_What…happens…next…_" Megavolt repeated slowly.

"Oh, well sooooooorry, St. Canard only happens to be a huge city, and huge cities don't tend to be QUIET!" Darkwing snapped, "Anyway…I see you find my storytelling abilities to be, oh, exceptionally compelling? Gripping?"

"Not really, I think your style's all wrong. But the story sounds vaguely familiar…do I know that Preena chick?" Megavolt asked.

Darkwing rolled his eyes and glanced over the edge of the scaffolding. They had attracted a small group of people, pointing up at them and shouting to one another.

"Good to see I can still draw a crowd," the masked mallard muttered.

"Hey you! The one in the mask! On with the story!" Megavolt barked impatiently.

Darkwing grinned slyly and cleared his throat in a slow, deliberate manner before continuing, "Well, since you've waited so patiently…Drake Mallard waltzed out of the auditorium and into the cool, summer's night…"

He had never felt better in his entire life. He felt so light he was practically floating, but so tight with excitement he could explode on the spot. A broad grin was tattooed onto his face, he strode with confidence, his arms swinging heartily.

He would never forget his Senior Prom now, but not in the way most do. He had found a new side to himself tonight. An alter ego, one that wasn't ridiculed, mocked, ignored…no, this alter ego was heroic, respected, admired…he was perfect.

Only hours before he had been shouting out his locker combination to Elmo after being trapped in there by Hamm, being laughed and jeered at all the while. But now, in just a few minute's time, he had become their savior, their hero.

He had defeated a new criminal, a true straight-out-of-the-comics supervillain if he ever saw one, using his own intellect and agility. He had saved his peers from certain annihilation, and best of all, was _praised_ for it.

Drake glanced at his watch instinctively.

"Whoa, almost ten o'clock…better take a shortcut," he said to himself.

Drake literally skipped across the track and into the football fields. As he made his way across grass, his mood only lightened.

"I'm so happy – I could sing! Let's see…_I can see cleeeeearly now, the rain is gone…I can see all_ – okay maybe I won't sing. But still, this is terrific, nothing could possibly rain on my parade!"

With that, the new sprinkler system came to life, drenching Drake from head to webbed foot.

"Well who is he?" Megavolt interrupted.

"Who's who?" Darkwing Duck snapped, glaring at the rat for the breach in story time.

"Whatshisname's alter ego – Drake's?"

Darkwing scowled.

"Patience is a virtue battery brains!" he hissed indignantly, "Now do you want me to finish the story or not?!"

"Well it's hard to be patient when I have to wait 'til you stop blabbering so I can tell _my_ story!" Megavolt yelled.

"You've got a story?"

"No I just said that for my health."

"A story that you actually _remember_?"

"OF COURSE I – wait…um…oh yeah! I remember it now!"

Darkwing sighed.

"All right, let's hear it, it'll give me a chance to rest my melodious vocal cords anyhow."

Megavolt's face instantly brightened, literally, and he launched into his story in a cheery voice.

"It was a dark and stormy night – "

"Yawn," Darkwing interjected sarcastically.

"Hardy har har. Anyway, before I was so _rudely _interrupted…it was a dark and stormy night. Everyone's nerves were on the edge…"

A youngster named Phil turned to his best friend Mike.

"Oh dearest Mike! I am so utterly frightened! Should the power go out, I am doomed!"

Mike tried his best to comfort him by saying, "Fear not good Phil, for I am here, here to defend you from the horrors this tempest hath wrought!"

"Mr. Rowave, I thanks to you burns from deep inside!"

"No thanks are needed Mr. Ament, my service to you asks no payment in return!"

Phil glowed, his happiness a –

"Wait a second."

"What?!" Megavolt barked at Darkwing angrily.

"Megavolt…did you just say that these guys' names are Phil Ament and Mike Rowave?" Darkwing asked skeptically.

Megavolt asked as if it was obvious, "Your point?"

"These two wouldn't happen to be a _light bulb_ and a _microwave_, by any chance, would they?" Darkwing questioned, a scowl forming on his face.

"Uh, _yeah_, what did you think they were? Toaster ovens?" Megavolt asked.

Darkwing opened his beak to reply, then thought better of it.

"I won't even dignify that with a response," he muttered, shaking his head wearily, "let's go back to _my_ story, shall we?"

"Do I have a choice?" Megavolt mumbled sarcastically.

"_Do I have a choice?_" Darkwing mocked, then continued, "We join Drake Mallard one week after the Prom, where our promising protagonist is purchasing some pressing properties at the local drugstore…"

Drake held the two small boxes close to his face, analyzing the small print.

"Hmm…which film to use for my eight by ten glossies…the 35mm color print or the nighttime exposure?"

Just then, he heard a familiar sounding voice coming from the checkout line. The mallard's brow furrowed. It was pretty darned late at night, he thought he was the only one in here. He stealthily peered around a magazine rack, and gasped. At the cash register stood a rat in an unforgettable jumpsuit and a hairstyle to match. Drake reached under his shirt…

Darkwing Duck leapt out from hiding and shouted, "MEGAVOLT!"

Megavolt whipped around, eyes wide with shock, clutching a bottle to his heaving chest –

"Whoa, wait a nanosecond! _I'm_ in this story too?!" Megavolt asked, stopping Darkwing's story abruptly.

"No, it's a different Megavolt. Jeez, how many 'Megavolt's' do you know?! Yes it's you! Now stop interrupting!" Darkwing shrieked.

"Well of course not, I'm in it, so now it's finally interesting. Do continue," Megavolt urged.

"Ahem. The jumpsuited rat with the wild do whipped around…"

Before the young crime fighter could get another word out, the crazy-haired rodent bolted out of the store. Darkwing followed.

Outside the drugstore, Darkwing called to Megavolt, "There's no use running away Meggie, I'm right behind ya!"

Megavolt stopped and turned around.

"I'm not running away! You just scared me! Didn't your mother ever tell you not to sneak up on people like that?!"

Darkwing continued, paying no heed to his question, "What're you doing here?! I thought the cops arrested you on Prom night!"

"Ha, I used the whole 'it's society's fault' routine, and ta da! Instant freedom!" Megavolt answered, a hint of triumph in his voice.

Darkwing squinted at the bottle in the rat's hands.

"Hey Megavolt…is that…_skin moisturizer?_"

"Huh?" Megavolt said, then glanced at the bottle in his hands, "Oh, so it is…well 'scuse me, having electricity surging through your veins really dries out the epidermis!"

"Itchy, irritated skin or not, it doesn't change the fact that _you didn't pay for it_!" Darkwing shouted, pointing an accusing finger.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that, sorry," Megavolt said apologetically, and reached into his pocket for some change.

Suddenly he stopped. Megavolt grinned, feeling particularly reckless. It had been easy enough to walk, well, flee in terror with the bottle, and _convenient_ at that…

"Ya know, I think I'll just keep it as a souvenir…" he said with a small chuckle.

The rat dashed away with –

"I stole skin moisturizer?!"

"Yes, strange but true, it was your first heist," Darkwing answered, putting the brakes on his storytelling.

"I'm starting to remember that…" Megavolt murmured thoughtfully, "…I had this horrible allergic reaction to the aloe, and it made my skin break out in these hideous – "

"Ooooookay, back to the story," Darkwing said loudly, cutting him off, "The young Darkwing Duck sprinted after the fleeing criminal…"

"Hey – wait – come back here!" Darkwing cried after him.

They ran down the streets and several alleys before Megavolt caught sight of several citizens boarding a large bus.

"The cross-town bus! HA HA! Sayonara Darkwing Yuck!" the rat called before skirting up the bus steps.

The bus doors closed, and with a blast of exhaust, it began motoring down the street.

"G'oh…good thing I know the bus route like the back of my hand. Away!" Darkwing shouted dramatically, then his brow furrowed, "Away? No, that doesn't sound right…um…up up and away? No, I can't fly…off I go? No, not enough flair…no wait, I got it! LET'S GET…that crook!"

--

As Megavolt sat calmly in the bus seat, he smiled to himself. Now it was _his_ turn to outwit that annoying purple –

The bus doors opened, and Darkwing Duck suddenly leapt on board.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Megavolt cried.

"Found ya you ludicrous light bulb!" Darkwing yelled, "Now come quietly so you don't have to embarrass both of us."

The other passengers stared at them in disturbed silence. Megavolt rose from his seat with a polite, "excuse me" to the surrounding commuters and planted his feet in the aisle, facing Darkwing squarely.

"You got nothin' on me duck, so hit the road!"

"You shoplifted you – "

"Hey!" the burly bus driver suddenly growled at Darkwing, "what part of 'get behind the yellow line while bus is in motion' don't you understand?!"

Darkwing rolled his eyes and took a step forward, making sure his feet were behind the line. He heard the passengers scream, and he looked up, only to see Megavolt hurl a bolt of electricity in his direction. The masked mallard yelped in surprise and ducked, and the bolt ricocheted off the windshield.

Darkwing Duck opened his mouth to shoot off a snappy comeback, but was interrupted.

"All right, that's it!" the bus driver shouted gruffly, "Both a' you freak shows sit down and shut up or our next stop's gonna be the police station!"

"Sorry didn't mean it won't happen again," Darkwing and Megavolt mumbled quietly while taking their seats.

Three rows up, Darkwing shot daggers at Megavolt. The rat glared back at him before fingering his rubber gloves. Darkwing tapped his foot impatiently. When was the next stupid stop?! This was taking forever, all he wanted to do was catch the bad guy…

The bus suddenly screeched to a halt. Darkwing leapt to his feet and stuck out his hand, declaring, "Stop! In the name of Darkwing – "

Megavolt barreled past him, poking the crime fighter in the shoulder and giving him a jolt of electricity. The rat dashed out of the bus and into the street.

"Ouchie," Darkwing muttered.

He shook off the pain and darted out of the bus. Up ahead, he saw Megavolt stop and turn to face him.

"So, finally shaking hands with the long arm of the law eh?" Darkwing asked in triumphant voice.

"No, I've decided to show you what happens when Mr. Atom becomes Mr. Free Moving Electrical Current!" Megavolt said with an evil grin.

He raised his hands above his head and they began glowing with a massive amount of electricity. Before Darkwing could react, Megavolt blasted him with his most powerful electric attack to date.

As the mallard's body spasmed with electricity, Megavolt dashed into the shadows, cackling madly. Darkwing stood still for a moment, a blackened, charred mess.

"I've always hated being electrocuted" Darkwing said weakly, and collapsed.


	4. High School Heroism

Disclaimer: The characters? Nope, not mine.

Thanks reviewers, they've been fantastic, it's appreciated!

--

"Are you sure this story's true?"

"C'mon Megs, do you really think that I, Darkwing Duck, would lie to you?"

"Yes."

"Well I'm not lying!"

"But I don't remember any of this!"

"Megavolt, what did you have for lunch today?"

"Umm…I don't remember…"

"Case and point."

Darkwing breathed heavily and looked over the scaffolding once again. Far below a decent-sized crowd had gathered, now including a film crew.

"Hey look, we're on TV!" Megavolt cried joyously.

"Oh good, you've managed to alert all of St. Canard to our calamitous condition," Darkwing said to the crowd sweetly, then roared, "NOW IF YOU COULD JUST _DO_ SOMETHING ABOUT IT!"

"Well, the space-time continuum isn't gonna move any faster, let's hear the rest of this story," Megavolt suggested wearily.

Darkwing gave the crowd one last dirty look before clearing his throat.

"Let's see…it's a warm summer's night in the St. Canard High School auditorium, where our young Drake Mallard is approaching one of the most important moments of his life…"

"Doug Langdale!"

Drake Mallard batted his cap's tassel out of his face and watched as a young duck named Doug walked up to the stage and accepted his diploma. It had all come down to this – his high school graduation. He flattened the front of his purple gown nervously. Why was the school color purple? Purple draws a lot of attention, especially when he would trip and fall in front of everyone – NO! Drake shook the thought out of his head. He'd do fine, he'd take his diploma, he'd finally graduate…

"Katie Leigh!"

Drake gulped. They were getting closer to the M's. He could feel himself sweating under the big graduation hat. He glanced over his shoulder, still hopeful he would see Elmo back there somewhere. But he was nowhere to be found, no one had been able to find him for over a week.

"Preena Lott!"

Preena swished back her hair and accepted her diploma. The tassel swung into Drake's face again, and he quickly pushed it away. I will not trip, I will not trip, I will not trip…

"Terence Madison-McGovern!"

His breath caught up in his throat. This was it, the moment he had been waiting for…

"Drake Mallard!"

Drake went to step forward – dear lord, did he start on his left or right foot?! It didn't matter, he had started walking anyway…the principal was there, smiling and holding out the scroll of paper…freedom, just a few feet away…

"DON'T ANYBODY MOVE! Uh, please."

The principal withdrew his hand. Drake made a wild snatch for his diploma, but missed. Furious, he searched for the distraction. There, making his way down the aisle, was none other than Megavolt.

"Not again!" Drake exclaimed, exasperated.

A few random students screamed and bolted out of the auditorium, the Prom's events still clear in their minds. Drake watched as he made his way onto the stage. Megavolt gestured to the microphone and asked the principal, "May I?"

The principal nodded numbly, and Megavolt stepped up to the mike.

"Um, excuse me! May I have your attention please? My name is Megavolt. You may remember me from Prom night – I was the one trying to electrocute people. I come here tonight asking if Mr. Hamm String would please step forward, because I need his assistance."

All eyes turned to Hamm, who even though he could still feel the sting from his run-in with Megavolt on Prom night, was glancing about haughtily.

"What's it to ya, Geek-asaurus Rex?" he asked loudly, producing laughter from several students.

"Um, well, if you don't comply with my request I'll be forced to obliterate all of you. It's nothing personal, it's just…well, I guess it _is_ personal, but then – oh never mind. Just do what I want. Thank you for your time."

The arrogant grin disappeared from Hamm's face and several people screamed and began exiting the auditorium. The principal marched over to Megavolt. Drake made another grab for his diploma, but the principal ignored him.

"Listen young man," he said to Megavolt sternly, "I ask that you leave immediately before I call the police! This is unacceptable!"

"I may be unacceptable, but _this_ isn't!" Megavolt retorted, seizing Drake's diploma.

"GAH! My freedom!" Drake cried.

Megavolt grinned and declared, "You call the cops and this verification of graduation gets it!"

The principal stared at him, then headed towards the phone.

"Yeah whatever you say kid. I'm callin' the police."

Drake's eyes widened in terror. Before he knew what he was doing he sprinted after the principal.

"NOOO!" Drake screamed, and then lunged, tackling his principal.

They landed in a heap on the floor. The principal glared at Drake while straightening his toupee.

"Uh, heh heh, sorry, I thought I saw a, um, loose…floor…board," Drake lied sheepishly.

Meanwhile Hamm String was making a mad dash to the nearest exit, but Megavolt blocked his path.

"Sorry big boy, you can't leave just yet," the rodent chuckled evilly, "I'm afraid that you're going to have to make like a tree and stay! No, hold on, that didn't come out right…I'm afraid you're going to have to take off your coat and leave awhile! Wait, that wasn't right either – oh forget it, I hate metaphors anyway! Just come with me or I'll turn you into fried pork!"

Hamm gulped and nodded, following into a hallway.

"My boyfriend!" Preena squealed in terror.

"My diploma!" Drake said in the same tone.

Preena turned to Drake out of sheer desperation.

"Someone's got to do something!"

Drake put on an audacious face and shouted, "Oh don't worry, someone will do something, now that it's gotten personal! _This_ looks like a job for D – "

Preena raised a stenciled in eyebrow.

"D…uh, the _dean_ of students! I'll go find him!" Drake said.

--

Megavolt gripped the handlebars of the treadmill steadily.

"How thick are you?! What could you possibly not understand?!" the rodent shrieked.

"I just don't get why in the world you would want to do this!" Hamm cried angrily.

"Listen, it's really simple. All you have to do is tape my hands to this brilliant little machine and turn it on high speed. I'll start running really fast, so that the carpet attached to this device will generate a large amount of static electricity in my body. After about fifteen minutes the energy buildup will explode and jettison me into the wall you see before you. Then I'll touch the doorknob, and poof! I'll have my powers back."

"But why do you need _me_ to do it?! Why don't you just run on that thing by yourself?!"

"BECAUSE!" Megavolt shrieked, "It's a scientific experiment! When you repeat a scientific experiment you have to do it the exact same way in order to produce accurate results! How did you graduate?!"

"I didn't yet, thanks to you," Hamm muttered bitterly.

Megavolt frowned apologetically.

"Oh, I'm sorry…here, have this one," he said, handing him Drake's diploma.

Hamm pocketed the scroll when a puff of blue smoke erupted in the science lab.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night!"

"Now you're in for it nerdface," Hamm said to Megavolt with a sneer.

"I am the livewire you can't control!"

"I hate metaphors," Megavolt growled.

"I am Darkwiiiiiing Duck!"

"HA HA HA!"

Darkwing glowered at Megavolt.

"What?!"

"Cute outfit Dinkwing!" the rodent chuckled.

Darkwing looked himself over. He was now in a purple mask, cap, and gown. The school colors matched his mask quite nicely, if he did say so himself.

"Thanks for the fashion critique, you should write your own column," Darkwing jibed, "now free this innocent citizen, and I'll go easy on ya!"

"Just let me get my powers back first," Megavolt said casually.

Darkwing frowned.

"Wait…you mean to tell me that after all that threatening in the auditorium, you don't even have your powers?"

"Nope. Ever since I zapped the tailfeathers offa you the other night, it drained all my energy. Now I'm nothing but a poor, powerless, scientific genius…but not anymore, ha ha! My brilliant plan to rejuvenate my energy is foolproof!" Megavolt informed.

"Gee, why don't you just make it easier on yourself and strap a battery to your back?" Darkwing asked sarcastically.

"You know, that isn't such a bad idea…" Megavolt mused.

Darkwing turned to Hamm and hissed under his breath, "Yo. Hamm. Amscray."

"Oh, right," Hamm said, and ran out of the room.

Darkwing turned his attention back to Megavolt. The rat was now running as fast as he could on the carpeted treadmill, leaning forward in exertion and gripping the handlebars tightly.

"Whoa, hold the phone Megavolt, there will be no rebooting while Darkwing Duck is here!" the mallard yelled.

Too late. Electrical energy was already sparking from Megavolt's fingertips.

"Oh yeah!" Megavolt shouted triumphantly, flexing his muscles, "I am large and recharged!"

Just then he noticed that he had released the handlebars while the treadmill was still in motion.

"Whoopsie," was all he managed to get out before being flung off the machine.

Megavolt flew through the air and out the window, screaming all the while. Darkwing could only stare for a moment. He shook his head and crawled out of the now broken window in pursuit. Outside in the night, he saw that Megavolt had landed in the middle of the football field, lying in an odd position.

"Ever consider yoga Megavolt?" Darkwing jeered.

"Yeah, I call this one Duck Greeting Deadly Shock!" Megavolt retorted, shooting a spark of energy at the mallard.

Darkwing leapt out the way and grinned.

"Ha, ya missed, Sparky!" he said, then grinned, "Hey, get it? _Sparky?_ Ah, my own wit amazes me every now and then…"

Megavolt saw red.

"Don't EVER call me that! No one likes bad puns, duck, they're lame! How would like if I called you Darky? Or how about Flappy?! Huh?! Do you like being called dumb names?!"

"Not as much as I like trashing villains!" Darkwing declared.

He lunged at Megavolt, who stepped aside and stuck out his foot. Darkwing tripped over his boot and hit the grass in one rather ungraceful movement.

Darkwing spit grass out of his mouth and scowled. Suddenly he heard the crisp sound of crackling electricity. He gulped ominously and turned around, only to see a grinning Megavolt with his surging arms raised.

"I have you right where I want you Darkwing Duck, teehee…er, I guess 'teehee' isn't very villainous, lemme try again…"

Megavolt threw back his head and let out an insane cackle.

"There, that's better…okay, looks like roast duck is on the menu tonight!"

Megavolt reared back, ready to strike. Helpless, Darkwing just held his breath. As he waited for the pain, he heard a sudden, soft whir. His eyes widened, and he looked at his watch…it was ten o'clock…

"Oh, say Megs…"

"What?"

"Did you ever learn what happens to electrically charged objects when doused with water?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh, no reason…"

The school sprinklers burst to life, watering both the football fields and their two occupants.

"Aaahhh! Not good!" Megavolt cried.

Darkwing shielded his eyes from the light show that was Megavolt shorting out. The rat's body went into spasms and he spouted a mouthful of gibberish before landing on the ground in a twitching, sizzling heap.

A soaked Darkwing got to his feet and leaned over the fallen villain.

"Looks like power really _does_ corrupt," he muttered.

Suddenly the sprinklers stopped, and a crowd of people led by Hamm rushed towards him. Darkwing grinned pretentiously as several photographs were shot.

"Ooooh look, it's Darkwing Duck!"

"He stopped that villain!"

"He's a hero!"

"S'all in a day's work folks," Darkwing informed casually.

"What's that you got there, Hamilton?" Preena Lott asked of her boyfriend.

"Oh, this?" Hamm asked, gesturing to a roll of paper, "heh heh, it's Drake the Dweeb's diploma…I think I'm gonna keep it for a little…"

"NO!" Darkwing cried suddenly.

"Huh?"

"I mean, _no_, I'll give it to him," Darkwing corrected, and snatched the scroll out of Hamm's hands.

The crime fighter sighed. Free at last.

"The end," Darkwing Duck said, sighing as he finished his story.

Megavolt's eyes narrowed and he mumbled, "I didn't really appreciate that ending."

"I'm just telling it like it is Meggie. And besides, you're a _villain_, did you really expect a happy ending?"

"You happy heroes don't understand anything, a villain's always gotta have hope!"

A strong breeze swept around the building, and the scaffolding jerked forward. To their horror, several crucial cables snapped. Citizens screamed as the entire right side of the platform plunged downward. The scaffolding was now dangling by one cable, while Darkwing Duck and Megavolt were hanging onto the edge by their fingertips.

"And it looks like our hopes are going to _fall_ by the wayside," Darkwing gulped nervously.

"Oh man, this is really it, we're gonna shatter on the pavement like a box of dropped light bulbs!" Megavolt cried.

Darkwing sighed dramatically, "Alas, the end of the mighty Darkwing Duck, to be publicly splattered on the sidewalk, so much for my dreams of having my own TV show…"

"What are you whining for, this should be like a dream come true to you! Your death is going to be broadcasted on national television! I, on the other hand, am going to die knowing my last half hour was spent listening to _your_ voice," Megavolt retorted.

"WHO WOULDN'T WANNA LISTEN TO MY – hey, why are we bickering?! We're about to fall over a hundred feet to our demise!"

"Kinda puts a damper on the day, doesn't it?" Megavolt remarked sadly.

The cable creaked ominously.

"Before we go Dirtwing I have something to admit," the rodent spurted.

"Please don't tell me you love me."

"You wish…no, it's just that, if I didn't hate you, I'd kinda like you."

"_Come again?_"

"I mean, I've never told you before, but you're…you're…" Megavolt gritted his teeth and hissed, "you're not a bad crime fighter."

Darkwing blinked and said, "Aww, gee Megs, I'm touched!"

"Don't tell Phil and Mike I said that," Megavolt muttered.

"No problem…and Megavolt, if it makes you feel any better…if I had to pick one of my arch enemies to die with, it would probably be you."

"You really mean that?"

"Yup."

"Gosh, I don't know what to say!"

The scaffolding dropped a few feet. Darkwing and Megavolt gasped, tightening their grip.

"One thing I have to know before we go splat," Megavolt said quickly.

"What?"

"Whatever happened to Elmo?"

"Huh?! Oh that Elmo…don't you remember?! _You're_ Elmo Sputterspark!" Darkwing cried.

"Oh yeah, that makes sense…and what about Drake?"

Darkwing gulped and shouted, "Drake Mallard is – oh no."

The whir of helicopter blades sounded, and from below came –

"_GIZ_MODUUUUUUUUUCK! Hiya there, Wingy!" Gizmoduck said amiably, hovering in front of them.

"No, not you, anyone but you!" Darkwing pleaded.

"I got a call saying that you had gotten yourself into a bit of trouble, and I wasn't too busy, so I thought I'd drop in! Come along Gizmobuddies!"

The flying duck scooped Darkwing and Megavolt into his arms and began floating back to the ground. Darkwing tugged his hat over his eyes and groaned. The instant Gizmoduck's tire hit the ground, the three were bombarded by reporters and their cameramen.

"Gizmoduck, were you nervous at all?"

"Yo Giz, any trouble along the way?"

"Gizmo, what's your favorite part about being a superhero?"

"People people please," Gizmoduck crooned, "not every question at once, I'm just glad my buddy Wingy and his compadre here are okay…"

Darkwing drew back his fist, only to have another hand hold him back. He turned around. Launchpad was holding his arm and smiling, Gosalyn at his side.

"We saw where you and your stupidity had gotten you on TV, so we had to call _someone_," Gosalyn said.

"Yeah they were showing you and Megavolt on a buncha channels so your interview's gonna be cancel – ow!" Launchpad gushed until Gosalyn elbowed him in the ribs.

"Well, at least I still managed to get mass media exposure," Darkwing muttered.

"And it's all on tape too, Launchpad set up the VCR!" Gosalyn said.

Darkwing's jaw dropped.

"WHAT?!"

"It's real easy DW, I'll show ya sometime!"

Darkwing mouthed "Why me?" before catching sight of a police officer handcuffing Megavolt, then realizing that metal was a conductor of electricity. Darkwing pushed past the crowd and the scorched officer and faced Megavolt.

"So…" he began.

"So…" Megavolt repeated.

Darkwing looked at him awkwardly and said, "Um, the little conversation up there, heh heh…never happened."

"Already forgot it," Megavolt returned with a grin.

Darkwing smiled back, knowing he had seen a shadow of the old Sputterspark in the villain's face.

"I should be able to break out of prison before recess tomorrow, so…I'll probably be out on the streets terrorizing the populace by dinner," Megavolt said casually.

"Okay, thanks for the heads up…and Megs?"

"Yeah?"

"Keep it somewhere on the ground this time, kay?" Darkwing suggested.

"Gotcha. Well, see ya tomorrow for another epic battle between the powers of good and evil!" Megavolt called to Darkwing as he was loaded into the police car.

"I'll keep my calendar open!" Darkwing called back.

"See ya Darkwing Dork."

"Sayonara Sparky."

"Don't call me Sparky…" Megavolt roared as the police car drove away.

Darkwing grinned and rejoined Launchpad and Gosalyn.

"With enemies like that, who needs friends?"

THE END


End file.
